we are not pregnant....

We got the call a little earlier that the test was negative. We feel sad and are grieving. We also feel God's grace covering us. We both feel a lot of peace and know that He is taking care of us.

Thank you all for praying for us through this journey. We don't know exactly what comes next, but we do know that "Rest" will be a part of it!

Love,

Felipe and Leigh

We got our little buddy!!!

Yay!!! Today was the day! The transfer went very well and our little wee one is now inside my womb! It's been a holy day in our lives that we'll never forget. Tonight, we are overwhelmed with emotion and pretty tuckered out. We are hoping that the next couple of days will be full of rest and chilling out, which we are really good at. We've already watched 2 movies since we got home from the hospital :)

We took a few pics of the day as you can see above (Proud Papa!). That's a picture of our baby in case you can't tell. I think he looks like me.

And below you'll see the rest of the day.

Just arriving at the surgery center getting settled in for our short stay. "Tired" is my new response to how I feel on a daily basis, so I'll take any chance I can get to lay down.

Magazines that kept me occupied while we waited.

Other activities that kept Felipe occupied while we waited! :)

I can't say I've missed this outfit. But if you have to wear it, you might as well wear it well.

This time I got pink footies. Now I have 2 pair!!! I love fuzzy footies!

And don't forget the hat! Or the fact that I have a lot of fun while taking Valium!

(They give it to all the women to help them relax and stay calm during the procedure)

We are both thankful that the day was full of joy!

Here's the before shot of our little buddy!

And here's the after shot of our little buddy inside his/her little Momma!

We thank all of you for your prayers. The doctor and embryologist said that the the embryo looked really good and they expected the best. The embryo was placed inside my uterus and should implant in the uterine wall in the next 24-36 hours. Please pray for this to happen successfully. And that it will stick! We feel very supported by all your prayers, emails and calls/texts. Thank you so much.

The big day is approaching...

This Thursday is the day that we will go and get our little buddy! I'm growing in excitement as I think about being able to be in his/her presence. Along with that, I definitely feel the injustice of the situation (that this is not the ideal of circumstances). Embryos are supposed to be formed and immediately grow in their mother's womb. It is a grief for us that our little embryo has not had that up to this point. The Enemy has done much to keep this little life from existing, from thriving.

Our story has been different from the ideal, that's for sure. Recently someone was telling me how they see that I am different because of going through this and that it is something that will mark my life forever. I responded to my friend and said, "I feel as though my heart has been branded." Literally, I imagine a metal branding iron, red-hot from being in the flames then being deeply pressed onto my heart, searing, smoking, burning, leaving a flesh wound that will scar. That scar I count as a small piece of the Cross; it's a piece of my glory. And I give thanks.

Also recently, I have been so encouraged by the saints. By you, the people around me.

A dear friend of mine from college just recently lost her little boy (whom she was 23 weeks pregnant with). She also spent years trying to conceive and this was her first child. I was unable to attend the memorial service but I just read her husband's speech on their blog. Throughout the entire speech, he gave glory to God and thanked our sweet Father for the life of his son. He recognized that the Father had sacrificed His only Son and he knew that God wept with them. They want to keep walking with God in the midst of deep deep pain. They want to say thank you and not grow bitter.

Last weekend I heard a woman share her story of losing her husband to a terrible long-term illness. Her daughters are in college and have left home. She is alone for the first time in 26 years. She gave honor to God and said how thankful she was for her husband's life. She said how she now wanted to honor the Lord in her singleness. She wants to keep walking with God. She wants to say thank you and not grow bitter.

I met another woman who shared with me that at her first child's dedication (she adopted 2 girls after not being able to conceive) she told the Lord that He had "fulfilled her barrenness." I saw on her face that she felt completely satisfied in the Lord. She still carried her scar. But she felt peace and joy. And she gave thanks and was not bitter.

Another friend of mine from college (who also has been trying to conceive for several years) has just gotten pregnant with triplets!!! That's right!!! It calls for 3 exclamation points each time!!!

It's amazing and yet could be very scary. She and her husband are rejoicing and giving thanks... and laughing with God for these little miracles.

I'm not sure why I'm sharing these things. These people have greatly encouraged me recently and I guess I just want to pay it forward. The gospel is real. Jesus is real. And He's coming back for us! Alleluia!

So, the next 2 weeks are our days to wait on the Lord, to pray for our little baby, and to trust in His goodness. We have 3 main requests that we ask you to pray.

1) That our little one would survive and be protected through the preparation process he has to go through.

2) That our little one would be guided by the Lord to the lining of my uterus and implant strongly. That he would get everything he needs from the Father to go through this process. And that my body would be prepared and do everything it needs to do to help him along.

3) That Felipe and I would get everything we need from the Father to joyfully walk this journey. That we wouldn't miss one thing He has for us.

Thank you dear friends. May we fall on His mercy to keep walking, give thanks, and not grow bitter.